Wacky Headlines

Paula slept with Corey Clark and MAY or MAY NOT have purchased him a cell phone. Tom Cruise is taking his mid-life crisis out on Katie Holmes. Paris and Nicole broke up and have to have their BFF tatoos removed. The long-rumored Pitt/Jolie romance actually came to fruition. Garfleck is pregnant. Renee Zellwegger, rumored to be pregnant, married Kenny Chesney today (was Jack White even invited????). Dave Chappelle has had some sort of meltdown. Britney has been banned from Christina's wedding. Kelsey Grammer and KC (yes, of "& the Sunshine Band") have taken to stage diving.

People...it's nearly too much to absorb.